Tonight I received a letter from a woman who reads my blog. She told me that she has been in a Custody War with her psychopath ex for eight years. She has been through countless hearings and has suffered from both physical abuse at the hands of the psychopath and legal abuse from the courts. Though her children haven’t been in contact with the psychopath since 2006, he continues to drag her to court for the sheer “enjoyment” of it. It continues to amaze me how a person can actually ENJOY being in court. Personally, court makes me feel terrible. I could be winning and everything could be going my way, yet leaving court often makes me feel terrible because its always an abusive incident when dealing with a psychopath.
The Psychopath Blood Sucking Monster
Many people would read this woman’s story and say, “hey lady, what is wrong with you? You should be happy your kids don’t have to deal with him and blessed to have left that abusive situation!” I, however, understand how terrible she feels being dragged through the coals of court over and over again. It doesn’t matter if the psychopath is clearly a dysfunctional mess. The courts don’t care about the fact that this process allows a psychopath continued access and a constant chance to feed off of the emotions of their victim like a blood sucking predator sucking the life out of its prey. This poor woman has been dragged back to court every six weeks for the past eight years. In the psychopath’s feable brain, he believes this is a perfect scenario. He doesn’t actually have to BE a father, but he gets to pretend he cares while causing maximum pain and suffering to the person he believed scorned him.
Let’s be honest – I have only been in this hell for a year and a half; therefore, I completely understand that I am just chipping the top of the iceberg on information about psychopaths and how to recover. That being said, sometimes I feel as if my story mirrors so many others. There are so many women (and sometimes men too) who have suffered at the hands of these monsters. When I read this letter, my first reaction was near panic as I realized how possible it is that I could be fighting this same war eight years from now – even 17 years from now.
So in moments of panic and despair, what do I do?
1) I look at my son and realize he is worth it. He is worth every minute of the fight. I have said this before and I will say it again. I would go to the end of the earth, jump off, feel the pain of the impact, and do it all over again for my son – every single day of my life. I can have the worst day and feel completely helpless, but coming home to his smiles and hugs keeps me fighting this war.
2) I try to put things into perspective. Luc chose me for a reason. I had my life together. I was successful and I had an amazing life ahead of me. No matter how long this war takes, I will still be me and he will still be him. He is a parasite who lives to feed off of people whom he wishes he could be. I have the power to NOT react to his terror; therefore, I had the power to take away his supply.
3) Finally, God works in mysterious ways and Karma is an angry, scorned woman who gets her revenge on people like Luc – psychopaths. I believe that God and Karma work as a good team. Luc will have to answer to God someday. He will be standing at the gates of heaven and likely receive a heavy kick in the butt on his way down to hell. Karma, on the other hand, works her magic here on earth. Psychopaths aren’t happy people because no matter how much they get away with – bad things always happen to them eventually.
There have been many moments over the past year when I have been reduced to tears – crying and shaking in a corner like an infant. I am sure I will have more of these moments before my son turns 18 and the courts finally allow me to remove Luc’s vampire fangs from my neck. In the meantime, however, I will always be baby boy’s mom. At some point, we are more important than all this. So allow yourself to cry, but don’t forget to also allow yourself to have some joy in the midst of the madness. Let Karma’s rage and fury take care of the psychopath.